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One last effort.

Apologies for the saminess of the tone over these entries, but I really am done in. This Christmas has been hell, and despite the (amittedly surprisingly huge) bonus I received I'm still wondering if the effort was worth it.

I have little patience for Christmas customers, and whilst I appreciate that this is a service industry and I just have to grin and bear the more goombah excesses of customers (passing out, falling off tables, unconscionable lack of manners and other complaints too numerous to list) I'm finally starting to wonder whether or not my time in catering has run its course.

The exhaustion is only to be expected, but the factthat I'm sat here on my break, with an evening shift to follow and I'm drinking a rhone red to cheer myself up is cause for some concern. My self-control has always been a strength at this time of year, I'm able just to keep going regardless by avoiding booze and just shaking off the all-round fed-upness. But now...

The problem is what does next year hold if I jack it all in? I'm by no means financially styable just yet and recognise that it's important that I keep working but I've truly had enough of this shit. I've had enough of no daylight. I've had enough of two a.m finishes, and most importantly I've had enough of being the reliable guy. I've had enough of being the one to turn to in a crisis. I've had enough of being the one who runs around sorting out all the minor problems so everything runs smoothly. I've had enough of being a manager who works much harder than his staff. I've also had more than enough of all this self-pity. I hate feeling like this.

I could really do with a nervous breakdown, I think.

So what's the solution? I think the answer is clear. More respect. More money, and a different job. I've been here nearly three years now and I'm doing essentially the same job I did when I started, only with a shedload more responsibility. Unless there's a promotion due I have to be gone before next Christmas. I simply can't do this again.

Two shifts to go. For you, it's Christmas day. For me it's simply a day off.

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