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A view from the kitchen

Those of you who know me will hve a pretty good idea as to why posts have been non-existent recently. Suffice it to say screaming hot pans, knives, hordes of drunks, tinsel. It wasn't fun. And let that be an end to it.

But whilst on the subject of catering I am given to understand that the french restaurant industry is in crisis, with restaurants closing at a rate of knots. Furthermore on the subject of catering I was recently harangued by a drunk guy who, when he discovered I was a chef decided to blame me for the high prices he'd recently been charged at another establishment, spitting slightly in my face as he made his point. I wonder if there were some way I could link these two pieces of information together?

Why, of course!

The french restaurant industry has been struggling for a while now. Some blame the overbearing hegemonic pressure of Monsieur Michelin, others the insidious influence of Le Big Mac. Those with half an eye on the glossy food supplements may opine that it is due to the rise of those dynamic Spaniards, attacking the French in a devastating pincer movement of tapas style eating on one flank and the dazzling technique of Adria and Arzak on the other.

All wrong. Dead wrong. The French restaurant industry is collpasing purely and simply because of France's enlightened labour laws, you know the ones, shedloads of holiday? 35 hours per week max? Dear me. There's just no way.

You see, as my drunken amigo of a few nights back failed to understand, restaurants don't make much money. The only ones making any money are the owner and the head chef; if the head chef is the owner then the sous might find himself on a decent whack, and the only way they are making any money, bearing in mind that they have chefs, kitchen porters, managers, bar staff and waiting on staff to pay is to pay them very little. For very long hours.

We dream of a 35 hour week, but in our heart of hearts we know it's not doable. 45 hours is a gentle week, 50-55 significantly nearer the mark for the full timers. I'm lucky, I work part time due to my lecturing. I only put in forty odd.

35 hours a week! If we were on that then you could add a tenner a head to the price of your meal straight off. Restaurants are staff-heavy. To put it into context we did forty covers tonight, fairly typical for a quiet january evening in a small bistro. Three chefs, one kitchen porter, a barman and two waitresses. That's seven staff, or more accurately, one for every 5.71 customers. On a Saturday night , when t's all kicking off there'll be eleven serving staff, six of us in the kitchen and two lads washing up. 19 staff for 140 customers or 1 for every 7.36 customers, given a rough figure of twenty pounds a head it takes one and a half customers to pay a waitresses wage for the evening, nearer two for the chefs. So on a saturday that's thirty one of the customers meals paying for wages alone. This is before we account for stock, rates etc etc.

Now, if we were to luxuriate in a 35 hour week we'd need to hire another three chefs to cover the total hours worked, or, in terms of meals served another fifty of those customers would be wiped out. The margins narrow further. And we're on piss-poor money. God knows what it would be like if we were getting paid well. Bear it in mind next time you raise your eyebrows at six quid for a starter.

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