Ormskirk's capacity to entertain me remains undiminished. What's particularly good is that it tends to save its most enlivening moments up for when i'm not feeling quite at my sparkling best. So, a trip to the off-license undertaken with a splitting hangover (hang on a minute, I think I see a way out of this) was cheered immensley by the guy cleaning the fridge who waved a can of cleaning fluid at his coworker and said "I hope this isn't flammable, it's just got in the vents", looked at the can, said "oh, it is" and then carried on.
Better yet was walking back through town yesterday to the sound of a securicor van in distress, an alarm informing all and sundry in mellifluous female tones that "Attention: A Securicor employee requires assistance, call the police", this in itself was novelty enough, and cause to reflect that, given that the people who would in the normal course of events hear the alarm would be the robbers of said van somewhat optimistic. Here, however someone had called the police, in the shape of a pair of confused coppers scratching their heads at this distressed van, still parping out its alarm depsite the fact that, clearly, there was no robbery in progress whatsoever. In true Ormskirk tradition a large crowd gathered to see what happened next. Which was nothing, for quite some time, and still the alarm went off. The police made a half-hearted attempt to get in the van, then stood back and scratched their heads some more.
As it turns out, should the alarm have said "Attention: a Securicor employee has buggered off to buy the paper and his mate has locked himself in the van, I wouldn't bother calling the police if I were you, you'll only annoy them" it would have been, as they say on the internet, OTM.
Better yet was walking back through town yesterday to the sound of a securicor van in distress, an alarm informing all and sundry in mellifluous female tones that "Attention: A Securicor employee requires assistance, call the police", this in itself was novelty enough, and cause to reflect that, given that the people who would in the normal course of events hear the alarm would be the robbers of said van somewhat optimistic. Here, however someone had called the police, in the shape of a pair of confused coppers scratching their heads at this distressed van, still parping out its alarm depsite the fact that, clearly, there was no robbery in progress whatsoever. In true Ormskirk tradition a large crowd gathered to see what happened next. Which was nothing, for quite some time, and still the alarm went off. The police made a half-hearted attempt to get in the van, then stood back and scratched their heads some more.
As it turns out, should the alarm have said "Attention: a Securicor employee has buggered off to buy the paper and his mate has locked himself in the van, I wouldn't bother calling the police if I were you, you'll only annoy them" it would have been, as they say on the internet, OTM.
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