Coastalblog

Back after a weekend away watching the sister in law get wed, aw. Survey's back on potential new house, and makes for fairly cheery reading, so that's one less thing to worry about. No immediate problems; but there are a couple of things we'll want to look at a couple of years down the line. Still, it's a relief. Now it's just a matter of them sorting their shifting elsewhere out. In the meantime we wait. It's the waiting that does me in, as many of you know I'm also supposed to be starting a business up (a cafe/delicatessen), and time is starting to get tight. I've taken out a fairly substantial loan to get it started, and that is just sat in my bank being slowly eroded by the repayments (okay, not all of ot, I have done financially sensible and dull things with some of it). All well and good whilst I'm working two jobs (though I can't help but note that 3dge h1ll HAVEN'T FUCKING PAID ME as yet, something which will be sorted out today, hope

Two things that have amused me over the last couple of days (admittedly I am easily amused): I am often to be found propping up the quiz machine in my local, not through any real expectation of winning any money worthy of the name (after a short period of grace the questions ineivitably become of the guess one obscure date from three variety) but for the joys that are the silly answers to multiple choice questions on Battleships early on. So it was that yesterday I was to be found gurgling my point on being offered the option of answering "Mockney Sellout Co" to the question "which supermarket does Jamie Oliver advertise?" Small joys. Even smaller joy, and it's distinctly possible that the only other person on earth to be amused by this will be Jimmy, is to be found in the cheap shit DVD section of Morrisons. You know the one, selling five-pack bundles of films you've NEVER HEARD OF (for a GOOD REASON). Fascinated as I am by these films it's the knock

We all have our personal tipping points. Some crack one day when stood in an otherwise blameless baskets-only queue; the person in front takes too long trying to remember their PIN and bingo, a previously sunny worldview becomes irrevocably bitter. Others may have lived a hitherto positive existence, always looking for the best in people, only to be rendered permanently homicidal by gormless service in a plastic coffee outlet. For vast numbers of my fellow countrymen, the urge to act was engendered by the tedious e-petition about road pricing (probably deserving a post of its own: goverment complicit in human rights abuses? Not my problem squire. Government taking country into illegal war? probably had it coming, didn't they? Goverment creating artificial climate of fear? Well, can't trust anyone these days. Goverment tinkering with something to do with your fucking car? Take to the streets! And pave some new ones whilst we're at it! More cars! Mmmm Cars! etc) For myself th

Fingers crossed. After seemingly interminable debate (Liverpool or not? Flat or house? Is it too much? Is it too scabby?) and touring an endless variety of unsuitable places, as well as being annoyingly beaten to the punch on places we DID like (I'm tempted to start a new career as a vigilante beating the shit out of buy-to-let racketeers making life impossible for us humble first time buyers) we may have found somewhere. Finally. It's actually quite nice. I look forward to discovering that it's an ancient Indian burial site. And, because information about Coastalblog's private life is, frankly, dull: Not I which I shall be yammering on about to my second year class tomorrow (second film down is the jawdropping Billie Whitelaw peformance) Smackdown of the week, , the wonderful Ben Goldacre on the awful Gillian McKeith. And quote of the year, Stephen frears, upon receiving the best film Bafta for The Queen: "I'm the Queen of the world!" In your smug face,

We appear to be in the grip of something of a crimewave as currently stands, and none are safe in their beds. Evidence. The town crier's tricorn hat (which apparently costs eighty quid! Who knew?) was stolen by "youths". Cue advertiser headline "Cruel Gang Steal Don's Hat". ACTUAL HOME INVASION thwarted by PISSED UP PUB REGULARS who proceeded to enact THE RETRIBUTION OF THE MAN IN THE STREET. Kapow! Most entertainingly two young men attempted an hilarious breakout from the magistrates court by assaulting an elderly clerk, busting his ribs with a MUG OF TEA and doing one up the ROAD before being caught by a doughty local bobby hurrah. Needless to say they were sixteen. Anyone older than that may have thought to themselves "hmm, oh well, magistrates court, it's not a capital offence" as opposed to "hey! If we break out of here it'll be like that programmme, Prison Break! We might get to sleep with Holly Valance! It's not like the pol

The usual circular global warming argument in the pub last night yes it's bad - no-one can make a difference - it's because everyone think like that that we're in such a mess - yeah I know but it's true - I know that but you have to try don't you? etc etc. Eventually we did reach a consensus that it really is encumbent upon us each to do our bit (though of course you all knew that already). So bearing that in mind.... (anyone reading this blog at the actual time should go and plant tree in penance)