Skip to main content

This will not stand

I've been away from the net too long, clearly. Time was there was only one Matt Fallaize round the top of the google pops. Yours bleedin' truly. But what happens? I bugger off for five minutes to get with the fathering and business starting and all the concomitant fun + games and some other Matt Fallaize goes and sweeps all before him mightily in some election in Guernsey.

Now, whilst I must obviously give props to a man possessed of possibly the noblest name in christendom, salute his victory and wish him all the best with his inexorable rise to what I would imagine will be the top (how could it be anything else?) I can't help but note that he's kicking me all over google, all of which is a long winded and possibly overconfrontational way of saying I've been, yet again, neglecting dear old coastalblog, and, by extension, you.

This will not stand. Things fall apart the centre etc etc, you know the rest. This Channel Islandic upstart must be confined to page four, maybe two at best. As a wise woman once said, I can't be doing with this sort of thing. There's only room for one Matt Fallaize in this neck of the woods. And that Matt Fallaize is this Matt Fallaize. Have I said Matt Fallaize enough yet? Matt Fallaize, ladies and gentlemen.

Update: omg he's even got Matt Fallaize dot com. Why don't I have Matt Fallaize dot com? Not that I'd have actually have done anything with it but I could maybe have sold it to him for a pint of lovely Guernsey cream.

Further update: ooohh I've started getting into the policy details of the other Matt Fallaize. Apparently people don't feel safe after dark in Guernsey or whatever and therefore no means no and hanging's too good for teenagers or something, I have the feeling of a couple of weeks worth of entertainment encircling. Stay tuned.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

The last day of the county season

 Look, I never claimed to be cool. As a a cliched middle aged male, I have a number of interests which, if not exactly niche, are perhaps not freighted with glamour. Not exactly ones to set the heart racing. I yearn not for wakeboarding, my cocaine with minor celebrities days are well and truly behind me, you are unlikely to catch me writing graffiti under a motorway bridge. I do cycle, but only as a way of getting from point A to point B, you are unlikely, you will be relieved to hear, to see me purchasing lycra and or/doing triathlons. I like going for a nice walk. I'm fond of a good book. I have a deep attachment to county cricket. Yes, that's right, county, not even the international stuff which briefly captures the nation's fleeting attention once in a blue moon. County cricket. Somerset CCC to be precise, though I'll watch / listen to any of it. The unpopular part of an unpopular sport. Well, that's the public perception, the much maligned two men and a dog. N...

D-Day Dos and Don'ts for Dunces

Oh Rishi. Lad.  You have, by now, almost certainly become aware of the Prime Minister(for the time being)'s latest gaffe, as he returned home early from D-Day commemoration events in France, in order to "concentrate on an interview" which, as it turns out was already pre-recorded. There's been a fair bit of outrage, the word "disrespectful" is being bandied about a lot.  The word I'd use is "stupid". It is often said of the Brits that we have no religion but that the NHS is the closest thing we have to one. This, I think, is incorrect, because the fetishisation of WWII is to my mind, far closer to being our object of national veneration.  I understand why, last time we were relevant, fairly straightforwardly evil oppo, quite nice to be the good guys for a change, I absolutely get why the British public worship at the altar of a conflict which, I note, was a very long time ago. I think it's a bit daft, personally, but I understand it. So you...

The three most tedious food debates on the internet.

 I very much only have myself to blame. One of the less heralded aspects of running a business is that one is, regrettably, obliged to maintain a social media presence, it's just expected. And, if I have to do it, I'm going to do it very much in my own voice, as I don't tend to have time to stop and think when I'm bunging something on Insta. It seems to have worked okay so far. But, as a man better versed on the online world than he would prefer, I should have known better than to stick up a picture of our bread rolls, fresh out of the oven. In my defence, I did preface said picture by saying "one of the most tedious debates on the internet is what these are called...". Doubtless you've seen the argument somewhere, it's one of the workaday tropes that shithouse FB pages use to drive engagement. Need a few thousand clicks to raise the profile of your godawful local radio station/page about how everything was better in the past/shelter for confused cats?...