In all honesty i have very little of intersst to say, very little of interest has occurred, or ,if it has, I'v been too knackered to notice. So, in the absence of anything interesting to say, have a list of things. Originally this paragraph concluded "which, given that the universe is slowing, are, in the grand scheme of things of very little consequence indeed". As the post went on and I got slightly drunker editing that particular line out suddenly seemed the correct thing to do.
1)TOO MANY COMMAS I'd murder a student for the sentence above, really, I would, hold their head under the water until the irritating, trilby wearing little trustie fuckpig died, which leads me neatly onto
2) IRRITATING TRILBY-WEARING LITTLE TRUSTIE FUCKPIGS I'm sure they're on the fucking rise this cunt ensured that I'm never paying actual money for the observer again, in fact, I'll go to the trouble of emailing them each week to tell them that I'm not buying their suddenly woeful paper purely and simply because of the decision to publish this awful teenage wank. Go on, see how many sentences you can get in before you want to put a brick through the window of the first 500,000 house you see.
3) 6 MUSIC I don't want it closed, I love it dearly, BUT, if this means I don't have to listen to Delphic any more it's a price I'm willing to pay. See also Editors and Hot Chip.
4) LIGHTWEIGHTS One quiet post work pint this evening. People leathered. At nine o'clock, sensible bites, guys. And lay off the coke until at least post watershed.
5) CIDER Bad news in what is essentially a tax on the west country. This correspondent predicts a rise in vagrants scouring offy shelves a for a cheeky vin de pays, maybe a Marsanne, y'know? Not one of your obvious grapes. Appalling broadbrush politics. Ruby Tuesday does not equal white lightning.
6) WE HAVE A TELLY AGAIN it's been months, literally (since November). It would, of course, be the wry and witty thing to post that hey, we've not missed it, it's brought us closer as a family, y'know? This would equally be untrue. Admittedly there's bugger all on, but on the upside The Boy isn't now watching the same three DVD's over and over. Anyone tutting at this post doesn't have children.
7) THE BOY has been on the receiving end of more hugs than he's comfortable with. It's true, children turn you sentimental, and since the media hot button du jour is tales of horrific child mistreatment (or, more specifically, gloating detail of said mistreatment dressed up as moral concern, and the opportunity to loudly demand that some social workers be sacked when the whole problem is that there aren't enough of the poor bastards in the first place)I've had lots of urges to find him and ensure that he's happy and safe, which he invariably is, generally mid destruction of duplo tower whilst shouting crash. Which follows neatly to...
8) MEDIA HOT BUTTONS DU JOURS Lots of terrible tales of child neglect right now, huh? Not nice, is it? Is it worse at the moment? Did child abuse never occur before? How about a few months down the line, when they're banging on about something else? Will it be okay then? Of course, this is all due to
9 "BROKEN BRITAIN" or, its fuller apotheosis "Brown's Broken Britain" an old target and a cheap shot but anyone who uses this phrase is a lowing halfwit entirely unable to remember a non-alliterative sentence, and afraid of their own fucking shadow becuase, to end on a positive note
10) HOODIES Our local scallies went out of their way to vacate the pavement when I was pushing the boy along the other day. I also saw some of them hanging around the park. They were playing football. One of them went on the climbing frame. There were a bunch of them in the shop. They queued politely and paid for their purchases. Everybody just calm the fuck down and we may get out of this. G'night.
1)TOO MANY COMMAS I'd murder a student for the sentence above, really, I would, hold their head under the water until the irritating, trilby wearing little trustie fuckpig died, which leads me neatly onto
2) IRRITATING TRILBY-WEARING LITTLE TRUSTIE FUCKPIGS I'm sure they're on the fucking rise this cunt ensured that I'm never paying actual money for the observer again, in fact, I'll go to the trouble of emailing them each week to tell them that I'm not buying their suddenly woeful paper purely and simply because of the decision to publish this awful teenage wank. Go on, see how many sentences you can get in before you want to put a brick through the window of the first 500,000 house you see.
3) 6 MUSIC I don't want it closed, I love it dearly, BUT, if this means I don't have to listen to Delphic any more it's a price I'm willing to pay. See also Editors and Hot Chip.
4) LIGHTWEIGHTS One quiet post work pint this evening. People leathered. At nine o'clock, sensible bites, guys. And lay off the coke until at least post watershed.
5) CIDER Bad news in what is essentially a tax on the west country. This correspondent predicts a rise in vagrants scouring offy shelves a for a cheeky vin de pays, maybe a Marsanne, y'know? Not one of your obvious grapes. Appalling broadbrush politics. Ruby Tuesday does not equal white lightning.
6) WE HAVE A TELLY AGAIN it's been months, literally (since November). It would, of course, be the wry and witty thing to post that hey, we've not missed it, it's brought us closer as a family, y'know? This would equally be untrue. Admittedly there's bugger all on, but on the upside The Boy isn't now watching the same three DVD's over and over. Anyone tutting at this post doesn't have children.
7) THE BOY has been on the receiving end of more hugs than he's comfortable with. It's true, children turn you sentimental, and since the media hot button du jour is tales of horrific child mistreatment (or, more specifically, gloating detail of said mistreatment dressed up as moral concern, and the opportunity to loudly demand that some social workers be sacked when the whole problem is that there aren't enough of the poor bastards in the first place)I've had lots of urges to find him and ensure that he's happy and safe, which he invariably is, generally mid destruction of duplo tower whilst shouting crash. Which follows neatly to...
8) MEDIA HOT BUTTONS DU JOURS Lots of terrible tales of child neglect right now, huh? Not nice, is it? Is it worse at the moment? Did child abuse never occur before? How about a few months down the line, when they're banging on about something else? Will it be okay then? Of course, this is all due to
9 "BROKEN BRITAIN" or, its fuller apotheosis "Brown's Broken Britain" an old target and a cheap shot but anyone who uses this phrase is a lowing halfwit entirely unable to remember a non-alliterative sentence, and afraid of their own fucking shadow becuase, to end on a positive note
10) HOODIES Our local scallies went out of their way to vacate the pavement when I was pushing the boy along the other day. I also saw some of them hanging around the park. They were playing football. One of them went on the climbing frame. There were a bunch of them in the shop. They queued politely and paid for their purchases. Everybody just calm the fuck down and we may get out of this. G'night.
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