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What? WHAT? Oh for fuck's sake

Argh. Just, argh.

What? Why argh?

Well, it's fairly straightforward. I'm a citizen of a country which labours under the apprehension that it's a functioning democracy. As most students of the political process will be aware a democracy can be defined as a governmental system consisting of opposing parties, voted for by the population at large. The party of government is the party in power, the party not in power (generally known as "the opposition") is a vital counterweight to the government, acting as it does as a check and a balance to the party in power. The fundamental idea, the driving principle behind this system is that it is for the people, that a government has a strong and effective opposition. That, in effect, nobody gets a bit carried away (or "a bit Lenin" as it could be known, add or delete dictator of you choice here, I'm aware it's a lazy analogy, stick whoever you like in, I don't fucking care. "A bit Clegg" might not have quite the same impact, however), that their actions are scrutinised, questioned, tested. That, in the end, something workable comes out.

Now I'm painfully aware that this is unworkable cobblers and what we're reduced to is a shambolic popularity contest, but I was kind of clinging to the hope that maybe, just maybe, HMG's oppostion did actually have some ideological problems with the current crop's somewhat worrying managing of affairs. Y'know, the victim-blaming, straw-man building, borderline racism, money-laundering and, when all else fails, just plain lying. I'd have thought there was a bit there for an opposition with a touch of get up and go to work with.

So, imagine my despair this evening when my twitter feed included the following gem from HM's Leader of the Opposition:

Ed Miliband ‏@Ed_Miliband 2h
Huge congratulations to @JermainJackman. Knew you were an incredibly special singer from the first time I heard you. #TheVoiceUK

Let's break this down. Point by depressing point. Point one. Ed has time to watch The Voice, or rather, Ed has free time in which he ACTIVELY CHOOSES to watch The Voice. Point two. Ed has no calibration for "incredibly special singer". Otis Redding was an incredibly special singer. Sam Cooke was an incredibly special singer. Laura Nyro was an incredibly special singer. A quick whizz over to YouTube informs your humble correspondent that yer man off The Voice is certainly a decent singer. He has yet, however, to the best of my knowledge to release "a change is gonna come". Point three, either Ed is a tin eared dick with too much time on his hands or, and this, I suspect, is the case, some fucking PPE policy gonk in his office wrote a memo to the effect in order to appeal to the voters of Britan Ed had to pretend to like some shit off the telly, which is the worst thing of all, because that implies that they hold us in nothing but contempt.

Politicians of Britain, I genuinely don't care what you think about popular culture. If you like One Direction or Tom Waits, if you like to have a morning jog or are addicted to the the Great British Bake-off. Politicians of Britain, let me be clear. I AM NOT INTERESTED IN YOU AS A PERSON. You are there to do a fucking job. You are paid to do said job. Do it. And keep your think-tank generated faux opinions to yourselves for the love of God. I want to know what you think about actual things, not mere stuff.

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