Now, this may come as something of a shock, but according to the internet, Caroline Lucas is a Nazi, who knew?
That's right, this country's one and only Green MP, the sole Parliamentary representative of a party which even the Labour Party routinely dismisses as flaky, the epitome of everything that hard-headed political animals like to deride as woolly-thinking, woke, soft, unfit for governance is, as it turns out, marginally to the right of Goebbels. This, it's needless to say, is something of a considerable turn-up for the books; those who thought Lucas was more interested in renewable energy than mass incineration of her enemies have been exposed as hopelessly, wilfully naïve.
Her crime, of course, is the suggestion of a temporary Cabinet formed to stop a no-deal Brexit. A short-lived government of national unity to exist purely to guide us through what promises to be the choppiest waters yet seen in the whole farce that Cameron set in motion all those years ago (yes, I know it was only three years ago, but we've all aged about twenty in the interim, have we not?). The reasoning runs thus: Johnson has an unworkable majority of one, a no confidence motion will be called, The Government will lose it, Johnson can't govern, who else can form a government? Corbyn? Are you fucking joking?
Now now, simmer down, Jez fans, he may yet end the year PM; but there's no way on Earth that's going to happen without a General Election, he can't get enough of his own party to back him at the minute, let alone the rest of them, the Parliamentary arithmetic simply isn't there. If the alternative is a Corbyn-led government, even the most anti-Boris Tories will hold their noses and back him in a confidence vote, likewise the LDs, and the Independent Group may suddenly decide they're not that Independent after all.
So, says Mengele, sorry, Lucas, how about a cross party group to temporarily take charge whilst we sort this whole festering shitstorm out? She goes further: how about an all-female cross party-group?
The all-female bit of this, incidentally, isn't what's led to her pillorying in certain circles (oh, all right, JC4PM Twitter), it's the cross-party bit. You see, in order for this to work, she'd need to talk to, and deal with Tories. She's offered jobs to Liberal Democrats. Cue collective fits of the vapours and an unprecedented clutching of pearls from the faithful, because god forbid you should try to solve a problem by dealing with people who might not necessarily agree with you. Nope, as far as all the folks with red roses in their twitter bios are concerned, to even use words with "tory" in them is a thought-crime exactly as evil as the slave trade. They're dressing it up as outrage that she hasn't invited any BAME women (translation: Diane Abbot, which seems eminently sensible as currently stands), but the real anger is directed at the fact that she's prepared to deal with Swinson, with Soubry, with (gulp) Justine Greening.
I've blogged about this before, but the vilifying of Lucas, a politician from a party with an arguably more progressive agenda than Labour's slate is a particularly unedifying example of the intellectual dwarfism which has overtaken the Labour Party under JC. The howls of outrage which greet any attempt at a cross-party consensus, the relentless abuse directed at anyone who isn't 100% behind the leader, the drowning out of debate, all speak to a party which is so insecure that it hasn't got a cat in hell's chance of winning a stuffed monkey at a coconut shy, let alone a General Election. In short, the Labour Party's only problem is itself. And I get it, I understand why, after years in the wilderness the faithful finally got their man in, an honest to goodness socialist, unthinkably, they're in with a shot, maybe genuine societal change is possible...
At which point someone has to gently point out to them, not with you lot acting so fucking mental, it isn't.
You see, boringly, discipline of message is what wins elections. Clarity of purpose is what wins elections. Purity of ideology is, emphatically, not what wins elections. If Jeremy Corbyn is serious about winning an election, serious about governing, he has to exhibit enough flexibility of thinking to be the one reaching out to Lucas, to Jess Phillips, to the independents and the Lib Dems. Instead he maintains a sphinx-like silence whilst the gibbering hordes on social media tear into anyone who even half-questions the project. At a moment when the Labour Party, that grand old fixture of British public life, is needed more than ever before; as the right rises and strengthens behind its new Sun King (and contrast the surface unanimity of the Tories with the tribal spite of the opposition), it seems determined to argue with itself, in smaller and smaller rooms, until eventually it's one man arguing with himself in a phone-box, calling himself Tory Scum.
That's right, this country's one and only Green MP, the sole Parliamentary representative of a party which even the Labour Party routinely dismisses as flaky, the epitome of everything that hard-headed political animals like to deride as woolly-thinking, woke, soft, unfit for governance is, as it turns out, marginally to the right of Goebbels. This, it's needless to say, is something of a considerable turn-up for the books; those who thought Lucas was more interested in renewable energy than mass incineration of her enemies have been exposed as hopelessly, wilfully naïve.
Her crime, of course, is the suggestion of a temporary Cabinet formed to stop a no-deal Brexit. A short-lived government of national unity to exist purely to guide us through what promises to be the choppiest waters yet seen in the whole farce that Cameron set in motion all those years ago (yes, I know it was only three years ago, but we've all aged about twenty in the interim, have we not?). The reasoning runs thus: Johnson has an unworkable majority of one, a no confidence motion will be called, The Government will lose it, Johnson can't govern, who else can form a government? Corbyn? Are you fucking joking?
Now now, simmer down, Jez fans, he may yet end the year PM; but there's no way on Earth that's going to happen without a General Election, he can't get enough of his own party to back him at the minute, let alone the rest of them, the Parliamentary arithmetic simply isn't there. If the alternative is a Corbyn-led government, even the most anti-Boris Tories will hold their noses and back him in a confidence vote, likewise the LDs, and the Independent Group may suddenly decide they're not that Independent after all.
So, says Mengele, sorry, Lucas, how about a cross party group to temporarily take charge whilst we sort this whole festering shitstorm out? She goes further: how about an all-female cross party-group?
The all-female bit of this, incidentally, isn't what's led to her pillorying in certain circles (oh, all right, JC4PM Twitter), it's the cross-party bit. You see, in order for this to work, she'd need to talk to, and deal with Tories. She's offered jobs to Liberal Democrats. Cue collective fits of the vapours and an unprecedented clutching of pearls from the faithful, because god forbid you should try to solve a problem by dealing with people who might not necessarily agree with you. Nope, as far as all the folks with red roses in their twitter bios are concerned, to even use words with "tory" in them is a thought-crime exactly as evil as the slave trade. They're dressing it up as outrage that she hasn't invited any BAME women (translation: Diane Abbot, which seems eminently sensible as currently stands), but the real anger is directed at the fact that she's prepared to deal with Swinson, with Soubry, with (gulp) Justine Greening.
I've blogged about this before, but the vilifying of Lucas, a politician from a party with an arguably more progressive agenda than Labour's slate is a particularly unedifying example of the intellectual dwarfism which has overtaken the Labour Party under JC. The howls of outrage which greet any attempt at a cross-party consensus, the relentless abuse directed at anyone who isn't 100% behind the leader, the drowning out of debate, all speak to a party which is so insecure that it hasn't got a cat in hell's chance of winning a stuffed monkey at a coconut shy, let alone a General Election. In short, the Labour Party's only problem is itself. And I get it, I understand why, after years in the wilderness the faithful finally got their man in, an honest to goodness socialist, unthinkably, they're in with a shot, maybe genuine societal change is possible...
At which point someone has to gently point out to them, not with you lot acting so fucking mental, it isn't.
You see, boringly, discipline of message is what wins elections. Clarity of purpose is what wins elections. Purity of ideology is, emphatically, not what wins elections. If Jeremy Corbyn is serious about winning an election, serious about governing, he has to exhibit enough flexibility of thinking to be the one reaching out to Lucas, to Jess Phillips, to the independents and the Lib Dems. Instead he maintains a sphinx-like silence whilst the gibbering hordes on social media tear into anyone who even half-questions the project. At a moment when the Labour Party, that grand old fixture of British public life, is needed more than ever before; as the right rises and strengthens behind its new Sun King (and contrast the surface unanimity of the Tories with the tribal spite of the opposition), it seems determined to argue with itself, in smaller and smaller rooms, until eventually it's one man arguing with himself in a phone-box, calling himself Tory Scum.
Comments
Post a Comment