I haven't seen Saltburn

I haven't seen Saltburn. And that's okay.

I don't say this to seem in any sense superior, contrary to some impressions I may give, I don't set a great deal of store by the cultural cachet of what media people consume. I haven't seen The Traitors either, not because I sneer at that sort of thing, more because I just haven't. Judging from some of the discourse surrounding it, it seems I'm missing out. Ah well.

In fact, of all the big things that everyone simply has to see of the last year I managed just the one (Barbie, since you ask  It was okay).

This blog isn't really about not seeing Saltburn, well, it is, in part, but only in that not seeing it is a necessary function of the wider observation, which is that discourse is now so pervasive that one simply doesn't need to see these big cultural events.

I've spent the first few weeks of the year on jury service, not really a barrel of laughs, and I am very much not allowed to talk about it, well, the relevant bits, anyway. One of the trials I was on was a particularly depressing affair, and when, late on a Friday afternoon, we were sent back to the jury room as some point of law was being argued in our absence the conversation, collectively eager to not dwell on the case, turned round to what things had been watched recently.

One of my fellow jurors made a remark (I forget precisely what) about Saltburn and I, not having watched it, but being well aware of the content of key scenes, laughed. This was taken as knowledge that I'd watched it, I couldn't be arsed explaining that I hadn't. As it is currently "a thing" various other jurors asked about it, my fellow and I assured them that if they were if a delicate disposition, then they probably didn't want to watch it.

The point is that I was able to talk easily and fluently about something I haven't even seen because when the media is saturated with something that it seems to have collectively decided is having a moment, it's quite hard to avoid it. I imagine that the soundtrack consisting of songs which were parts of the lives of said media when they themselves were younger and prettier might have something to do with it. As I'm sat here writing this, Woman's Hour are doing an article about how Princess Superstar has now "made it" due to "Perfect" being on there, which is odd, because I can remember it perfectly well from the first time round, thanks. Likewise, Sophie Ellis-Bextor's "Murder in the Dancefloor" is having a revival thanks to its inclusion. But again, I'm thinking, did it ever really go away? It's a fairly well-known tune, I imagine it's got a pretty long half-life on radio 2.

I don't need to see Saltburn because, in a way, I already have. It is recent culture eating and referencing itself. With some self-conscious gross out bits to generate some buzz. I know the plot, I know the themes and I've inadvertently absorbed discourse about the subtext of something in which my interest is, at best, passing. I might get round to it at some point, but I've got a list of things to watch which is even longer than my list of things to read, so I don't imagine I will, meanwhile imagine my amusement back in the jury room on the Monday morning when six of my fellows had watched it over the weekend and "You were right".