Say what you like about coronavirus, but at least it isn't boring.
Yes, this year's health panic has well and truly arrived, and this time it's serious, so serious, in fact, that Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson has had to emerge from hiding and do a bit of Prime-Ministering, which gets him out of the house, at least. Possibly gives him a chance to look for a new mistress, now that he's been forced to marry the old one, so every cloud and all that.
Now, I'm sure we've all got our favourite parts of the (are we going with "crisis" yet? Not sure, I'll probably stick with "situation for the time being) situation. Possibly you've been chuckling indulgently at people panic buying toilet paper, maybe, like me, you've been wondering if these are the same people who insist that Britain's "Bulldog Spirit" will see us through Brexit. Possibly you've been entertaining idle speculation as to what will happen in the event of No Deal when shops really do start to run out of stuff, I'd hate to see the Farnborough Costco then, it'll be like Lord of the Flies. But in truth, whilst it's easy (and fun) to sneer, the news this morning that Italy's gone into total lockdown, along with the wearied repetition of people who know what they're talking about that it will actually be quite bad should at least give us some pause for thought.
Large scale events like this have, historically, been a driver of change. A good shake to the normal order of things can have some unexpected outcomes. I have no idea about what they may be, hence the use of the word unexpected, but the virus already seems to be highlighting fault lines inn society, and foregrounding problems which have, until now remained largely hidden.
For example, we've all rather blithely accepted the pernicious inequities of the gig economy, just so long as our Just Eat or Amazon Prime delivery turned up on time. But the notion that these workers should self-isolate is evidently unsustainable. If a gig economy worker doesn't go to work, they don't get paid. There is no sick pay, there may even be charges for not turning up. The government has used this no-rights, vulture-capitalist model to hide the ailing state of the economy for years, it will become increasingly difficult to do so. Working when ill has suddenly become a public health issue. It's difficult to Keep Calm and Carry On (and I wonder how many of the toilet paper panic buyers have a mug or a tea towel with that aggravating slogan on) when the official Government line is stay indoors and wash your hands whilst singing Happy Birthday twice. Likewise there is suddenly a focus on what happens if schools close, what then for the single parent? The network of systems which sustain our population and economy in an unfashionable, unfussy day to day manner suddenly looks more vital than ever. We can't all work from home.
The serious tone of news reports about the arse dropping out of the stock-market sounds pretty bad, until you remember that none of us can afford much of a pension anyway and we're all going to work until we're dead, so the only people losing money are people who give a fuck about stock-markets, at which point it doesn't seem that serious after all. The biggest crash since 2008 they say, at which point one is forced to think yes, and it didn't matter to me in the slightest then, either. From this perspective, the weight given to these events by the media seems somewhat lopsided, less relevant, perhaps, than in easier times. Hard to care too much about a fall in oil prices when you're self-isolating in your flooded house.
Because that is the point (if there is a point) of this, the coronavirus outbreak has thrown into sharp relief precisely how reliant we are on each other, and on the systems that the post-war consensus put in place, and in doing so it's stripped away a lot of less relevant concerns. Imagine the UK without the NHS right now, it's a fairly terrifying prospect. Now imagine it without the BBC, imagine relying on the internet for news. These are necessary parts of life. Shares in BP, not so much.
It's no co-incidence that these two institutions are what people rely upon in troubling times, they represent continuity and stability. Crises reduce us all to children, and we look around for an adult to help. It's also no co-incidence that they are both under attack from the current administration, a gleeful group of wreckers whose idea of government appears to tear everything apart and hope it falls back together in a workable manner whilst giving them some bits to sell. I've been meaning to do a post in defence of the BBC for a while, an institution which, whilst undoubtedly flawed, is still at the heart of public life and still (given how vilified it is by people of all political persuasions) relatively unbiased, informative and authoritative. When the shit hits the fan, centralised systems are brilliant. This outbreak could well help to keep the wolves circling around hospitals and broadcasting house at bay a while yet, long enough to get the current shower out, anyway.
There are many other highly entertaining strands to this multi-threaded interactive shitshow: Ted Cruz saying that Coronavirus is a Democratic hoax approximately five minutes before self-isolating (though not before he did a talk show with Nigel Farage, who will presumably now do the decent thing and self-isolate for, oooh, forever sounds about right, sadly not before he appeared opining about the virus on Newsnight last night for reasons as yet unfathomed by mortal man - look, I didn't say the BBC was perfect, alright?) added greatly to the gaiety of nations, as did the Trumpster's spectacularly incoherent speech (in which he mused aloud that perhaps he could help discover a vaccine "because I have a natural ability at that6 sort of thing"), his spectacularly inept response is doing damage to his re-election chances, as even the more rabid elements of his base start to become dimly aware that perhaps he may not be the safest pair of hands (I'll briefly pause there to give thanks once more for the NHS, because the cost of getting tested for coronavirus I one is not lucky enough to have health insurance in the US is...wait for it...$3000, think about that the next time you get grumpy about not getting a GP appointment at a convenient time). Like Johnson's discovering, Trump is rapidly becoming aware that sooner or later bluster comes up against reality. Doing nothing and banging on about how great you are will work for a while, but sooner or later you actually have to do something. As the old saying goes, it's only when the tide goes out that you see who's been swimming naked.
And, having just used a hoary old aphorism without blushing, I will shamelessly say that it's easy, at times like this, to reach for the platitudes, and I know without bothering to check that the words "Blitz Spirit" will have been used in columns in The Telegraph on more than one occasion, but in truth, a few poor panicky and much-mocked souls aside, the nation's response has indeed been quintessentially British: a mixture of gallows humour, piss-taking and total apathy. And I wonder if that's because the message has been heard and understood: you stand a good chance of getting it, if you do get it, it probably won't be that bad, best not to fret, really.
This is not to underplay its dangers, those with that phrase du jour "underlying health conditions" have cause to worry, the older and more frail you are, the greater the risks. We should all be doing our bit to prevent its spread, and I genuinely think that most people are, a happy co-incidence of self-interest chiming with the greater good. Though, as a professional chef, and thus someone who washes their hands countless times per day anyway, it's affording me a mixture of amusement and slight revulsion that people need to be told to do this. I mean, yeesh, people, what have you been doing all this time?
Yes, this year's health panic has well and truly arrived, and this time it's serious, so serious, in fact, that Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson has had to emerge from hiding and do a bit of Prime-Ministering, which gets him out of the house, at least. Possibly gives him a chance to look for a new mistress, now that he's been forced to marry the old one, so every cloud and all that.
Now, I'm sure we've all got our favourite parts of the (are we going with "crisis" yet? Not sure, I'll probably stick with "situation for the time being) situation. Possibly you've been chuckling indulgently at people panic buying toilet paper, maybe, like me, you've been wondering if these are the same people who insist that Britain's "Bulldog Spirit" will see us through Brexit. Possibly you've been entertaining idle speculation as to what will happen in the event of No Deal when shops really do start to run out of stuff, I'd hate to see the Farnborough Costco then, it'll be like Lord of the Flies. But in truth, whilst it's easy (and fun) to sneer, the news this morning that Italy's gone into total lockdown, along with the wearied repetition of people who know what they're talking about that it will actually be quite bad should at least give us some pause for thought.
Large scale events like this have, historically, been a driver of change. A good shake to the normal order of things can have some unexpected outcomes. I have no idea about what they may be, hence the use of the word unexpected, but the virus already seems to be highlighting fault lines inn society, and foregrounding problems which have, until now remained largely hidden.
For example, we've all rather blithely accepted the pernicious inequities of the gig economy, just so long as our Just Eat or Amazon Prime delivery turned up on time. But the notion that these workers should self-isolate is evidently unsustainable. If a gig economy worker doesn't go to work, they don't get paid. There is no sick pay, there may even be charges for not turning up. The government has used this no-rights, vulture-capitalist model to hide the ailing state of the economy for years, it will become increasingly difficult to do so. Working when ill has suddenly become a public health issue. It's difficult to Keep Calm and Carry On (and I wonder how many of the toilet paper panic buyers have a mug or a tea towel with that aggravating slogan on) when the official Government line is stay indoors and wash your hands whilst singing Happy Birthday twice. Likewise there is suddenly a focus on what happens if schools close, what then for the single parent? The network of systems which sustain our population and economy in an unfashionable, unfussy day to day manner suddenly looks more vital than ever. We can't all work from home.
The serious tone of news reports about the arse dropping out of the stock-market sounds pretty bad, until you remember that none of us can afford much of a pension anyway and we're all going to work until we're dead, so the only people losing money are people who give a fuck about stock-markets, at which point it doesn't seem that serious after all. The biggest crash since 2008 they say, at which point one is forced to think yes, and it didn't matter to me in the slightest then, either. From this perspective, the weight given to these events by the media seems somewhat lopsided, less relevant, perhaps, than in easier times. Hard to care too much about a fall in oil prices when you're self-isolating in your flooded house.
Because that is the point (if there is a point) of this, the coronavirus outbreak has thrown into sharp relief precisely how reliant we are on each other, and on the systems that the post-war consensus put in place, and in doing so it's stripped away a lot of less relevant concerns. Imagine the UK without the NHS right now, it's a fairly terrifying prospect. Now imagine it without the BBC, imagine relying on the internet for news. These are necessary parts of life. Shares in BP, not so much.
It's no co-incidence that these two institutions are what people rely upon in troubling times, they represent continuity and stability. Crises reduce us all to children, and we look around for an adult to help. It's also no co-incidence that they are both under attack from the current administration, a gleeful group of wreckers whose idea of government appears to tear everything apart and hope it falls back together in a workable manner whilst giving them some bits to sell. I've been meaning to do a post in defence of the BBC for a while, an institution which, whilst undoubtedly flawed, is still at the heart of public life and still (given how vilified it is by people of all political persuasions) relatively unbiased, informative and authoritative. When the shit hits the fan, centralised systems are brilliant. This outbreak could well help to keep the wolves circling around hospitals and broadcasting house at bay a while yet, long enough to get the current shower out, anyway.
There are many other highly entertaining strands to this multi-threaded interactive shitshow: Ted Cruz saying that Coronavirus is a Democratic hoax approximately five minutes before self-isolating (though not before he did a talk show with Nigel Farage, who will presumably now do the decent thing and self-isolate for, oooh, forever sounds about right, sadly not before he appeared opining about the virus on Newsnight last night for reasons as yet unfathomed by mortal man - look, I didn't say the BBC was perfect, alright?) added greatly to the gaiety of nations, as did the Trumpster's spectacularly incoherent speech (in which he mused aloud that perhaps he could help discover a vaccine "because I have a natural ability at that6 sort of thing"), his spectacularly inept response is doing damage to his re-election chances, as even the more rabid elements of his base start to become dimly aware that perhaps he may not be the safest pair of hands (I'll briefly pause there to give thanks once more for the NHS, because the cost of getting tested for coronavirus I one is not lucky enough to have health insurance in the US is...wait for it...$3000, think about that the next time you get grumpy about not getting a GP appointment at a convenient time). Like Johnson's discovering, Trump is rapidly becoming aware that sooner or later bluster comes up against reality. Doing nothing and banging on about how great you are will work for a while, but sooner or later you actually have to do something. As the old saying goes, it's only when the tide goes out that you see who's been swimming naked.
And, having just used a hoary old aphorism without blushing, I will shamelessly say that it's easy, at times like this, to reach for the platitudes, and I know without bothering to check that the words "Blitz Spirit" will have been used in columns in The Telegraph on more than one occasion, but in truth, a few poor panicky and much-mocked souls aside, the nation's response has indeed been quintessentially British: a mixture of gallows humour, piss-taking and total apathy. And I wonder if that's because the message has been heard and understood: you stand a good chance of getting it, if you do get it, it probably won't be that bad, best not to fret, really.
This is not to underplay its dangers, those with that phrase du jour "underlying health conditions" have cause to worry, the older and more frail you are, the greater the risks. We should all be doing our bit to prevent its spread, and I genuinely think that most people are, a happy co-incidence of self-interest chiming with the greater good. Though, as a professional chef, and thus someone who washes their hands countless times per day anyway, it's affording me a mixture of amusement and slight revulsion that people need to be told to do this. I mean, yeesh, people, what have you been doing all this time?
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