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INCOHERENCE-19

Well, if nothing else, at least I now know how it feels to be shafted by your own government.

Ah yes, the broad sunlit uplands of coronavirus have given HMG exciting new opportunities to plunge yet further in my estimation, and with his idiotic, bumbling "advice" to stop all unnecessary socialising, Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson, a man not noted for ability to assume responsibility, has abdicated his yet further.

Anyone remember "herd immunity"? It was the Government strategy all of, ooh, about four days ago. Indeed, Britain's Chief Scientific Adviser, Sir Patrick Vallance, was briefing on Sunday that large gatherings of people were A-OK at roughly the same time as Downing St was saying, er, no, they're not. As if this wasn't confusing enough, they're now trying to pretend that this was never the plan at all, and that this new plan is what the plan was all along. Luckily for HMG, the current Health Secretary is Matt Hancock, a man who has elevated abject servility to the level of performance art, and he's perfectly prepared to swear blind that they never said anything of the sort, because, having no credibility n the first place, he has none to lose.

And what, precisely, is the new plan? Well, hold onto your hats, as the big brains, edgy thinkers and 'weirdoes and misfits' that brought you Vote Leave now bring you.....No Unnecessary Socialising. Stop going out. Don't go to the pub, don't go out to eat. Do Not Socialise. Stay At Home. Sensible enough, one might think. Probably a good idea not to be going out and about. That trip to the pub / meal out / matinee performance of Uncle Vanya can wait for a bit. Who could object to this?

*raises hand*

My issue with the Government's current stance is not the advice itself, it's the way that they've gone about it. By merely "advising" people to stay at home, Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson is absolving himself of all responsibility as to what happens next. All the responsibility is placed on the shoulders of the businesses. The cinemas, restaurants, theatres, bowling alleys, all the places people go to socialise now have to make the decision whether to remain open, in the knowledge that the amount of people going to go out is now going to drop off a cliff or whether to close, leaving wages unpaid and jobs at risk. The Government has the power to force businesses to close, were they responsible actors, they would do so. But that would lead to claims for compensation, it would lead to claims on business interruption insurance, it would lead, in short, to the financial services industry being inconvenienced, and we can't have that.

And so my entire industry has jest been chucked under the bus by the insufferable adolescent we currently have impersonating a PM. We have to stay open, even as social media keyboard warriors castigate those still going out for their irresponsibility. We have to stay open because this craven administration refuses to take responsibility for anything itself, refuses to make any decisions which can be laid at its door, refuses to act in the best interests of its citizens by protecting the hundreds of thousands of jobs that Johnson, with his weasel words, has just put at risk.

And yet schools stay open. It's true that children seem to suffer very little from the effects of COVID-19. But those children have parents, and grandparents. They have teachers, those teachers have spouses, and children. As one teacher of my acquaintance put it to me "They make me have to look after 35 kids in a small classroom, and yet I can't go out to eat?". This incoherence is dangerous. You can campaign in poetry, but you have to govern in prose, yet Johnson's still spouting odes and sestinas, and merely hoping for the best.

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