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An idea of England

 There is an idea, much beloved if a certain type of politician, that you can get away with any old cobblers if you wrap it in a flag.

This week, seeking to jostle his way clear of the roiling mass of mediocrity that is the Conservative Party leadership contest, it is previously fond-of-a-pie, now 24hr-Ozempic-guzzler Honest Bob Jenrick who's been trying his hand at a bit if the old racism.

Bob has forn for this, of course  You will recall his performative cruelty when he ordered cartoon murals for children at migrant detention centres painted over. You will furthermore recall his most recent thought being loudly thunk that saying "Gid is Great" should, um, be a criminal offence. In case we hadn't already established this, the man's an arse.

He's now making a bid for the sclerotic hearts and gin-soaked minds of what's left of the Conservative Party by claiming that "English identity is being erased", the unspoken subtext, of course, being that English = white.

I'm not going to waste time decrying this tack. The Tories are fighting a war which has long since been lost, he's just trying to appeal to an incredibly narrow demographic. The wrongness and crude tastelessness of Jenrick's tactics are not in question.

What I'm more amused by is his inability to define what English identity actually is. There's a reason for this, indeed, there're about 55.98 million reasons. The main one being, ask any of the English and each of them will give you a different answer.

Whenever they're asked to define what "Englishness" is, Tories inevitably retreat to some ersatz 1950s pastiche. Good manners, John Major's spinsters cycling to evensong, warm beer, cricket. Which is utterly bizarre, because nobody lives like this. Questioned about it on Sky news Jenrick, with his face like a kid that hides behind the most feared bully in the Upper Fifth burbled some nonsense about courtesy. Which rather implies that the Welsh, Scots and Northern Irish, um, aren't courteous? Which is not a hill I'd particularly like to die on were I planning to be Prime Minister.

For myself, I'd say the most English thing of all is to shake ones head pityingly at people trying to define notions of nationality. We've never been particularly nationalistic, because we've never needed to be. I don't find flag waving as distasteful as some do, but I do find it bemusing, as in my version of England it's something that's Not Done. Fervent displays of patriotism are the preserve of, well, one doesn't like to cast aspersions....(nothing more English than the catty aside).

The English constitute about 85% of the UK as a whole. As such, I'd argue, we've never really needed to differentiate ourselves from GB. I absolutely get why the other Home Nations do, self determination becomes more important when you're in the shadow of someone bigger.

And, as such, I wonder if this sudden outbreak of nationalistic fervour is a reaction to our increasing irrelevance post Brexit. I don't recall much soul-searching about "English Identity" prior to that  Possibly the close-run thing of the Scottish independence referendum focused a few English minds, too. England post the Union would be forced to redefine itself as something other than the biggest, richest part of Great Britain, we'd need to work out who we are, what we're for.

As to who or what that is, I don't know. But I'm very confident that we don't want to to be defined by Robert fucking Jenrick.

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