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The Coastalblog Christmas Message

The festive season is upon us, and it is incumbent upon everyone (apparently - I had a threatening email this morning from some group calling themselves the Konsistently Khristmas Kommitee informing me that if I failed to mark the season in any way then my life was forfeit. They also mentioned a couple of you by name and made B-movie throat-slitting gestures, so, y'know, I'm doing this for all of you) to force an end of year round-up upon the unwilling public. So, upon pain of ice-pick, here it is:

JANUARY Slept, mostly.

FEBRUARY: Attempted to snowboard, realised quickly that I am by design a home-loving bookworm for a REASON

MARCH: Hmm, anyone remember March?

APRIL: The Shower broke, other more sub judice things occurred. All good clean fun.

MAY: See March, though with added wondering as to whether "occurred" is really how you spell "occurred". I know it is, but it just doesn't feel right. I said hi to London, London waved a vague hand in response.

JUNE: Aaah June. Sunny, as I recall.

JULY: Insects, mostly. Cricket tension, also.

AUGUST: Are you aware that when you bite your nails to the actual quick a nourishing, life-affirming substance extrudes, filling your intestines and telling you that it's all going to be okay and Shane Warne is not going to make the entire england Test side look like chumps? No? BECAUSE IT DOESN'T

SEPTEMBER: Shane who?

OCTOBER: 28. Numerals = Meh. Oh yes, left job. Odd.

NOVEMBER: Geordies

DECEMBER: Bewildering preponderances of things, not sure what things, just things. I did watch "Starsky and Hutch". It was okay, I suppose.

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