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Sorry, what?

Tonight has been weirdo night at work. Okay, when you work in catering you get fairly used to dealing with one or two oddballs every now and again, it's one of the joys of the job (and an enormous help with writing), but we've had loads tonight.

First up there was Michael. He's a nice guy in a don't ask him what he does for a living and be polite kind of a way. he lives in the flats next door and treats us as an extension of his living room. Keeps his spare keys, wandering in and borrowing stuff unannounced, that sort of thing.
Tonight, before we'd actually started work he'd sauntered in with a couple of his mates, ordered his food (none of which, needless to say, bears any resemblance to what's actually on the menu) by going in and telling the bewildered chefs (who rarely meet Actual Members of The Public) and sat himself down. He then couldn't be bothered eating, threw some money down and left. But not the front door for Michael, oh no, he wandered off through the kitchens and out the fire exit, when the front door would have been quicker. He then popped his head back round and asked if I wanted to buy any pheasants.

Other weirdoes we've had in tonight:

The couple who ordered two coffees, took a couple of sips and then ordered two more, pushing their barely touched cups to me.

"Everything alright?" I asked

"Oh yes, this is just what we always do." They replied, before handing me all their sugars, explaining how they "hated waste"

Thene there was the man who came in and sat at the bar, after two minutes he beckoned me over and said "I've been sat here for HALF AN HOUR"

"No you haven't, you've been sat there for two minutes" I replied

"You're right!" he cried, before turning to the restaurant at large and crying "This lad's great! I love that, mate. Two minutes!" At intervals for the rest of the evening he'd greet me with a cheery "Ha! No, you'r alright mate! Two minutes!"

I'm not even going to start talking about the old woman who saw worms in her pasta. I'm going to bed. People are weird.

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