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The pleasure /pain principle

You remember the ads. Don't make out like you don't. Someone eats a tasty yoghurt (or signs up for a credit card, my memory's somewhat hazy) and someone else sticks their hand in a wood chipper (or is gored by a rhino, again, I forget). Well it's an interesting idea. Well no, it's not, but it's a fragile peg on which to hang a blog post, and I'm bored. So it'll do.

So, in the spirit of those adverts for either a yoghurt I never ate or a credit card I never got (still not sure) here are my top five hateable individuals, each piece of bile balanced with what may prove to be a redeeming feature. Or not. The jury's out.

CHERYL COLE
AGAINST: that single, you know the one. Also massive racist, though that seems to have been forgotten.
FOR: married Ashley, so nobody else has to, doesn't sit well with the charge of racism I know but hey. We're due some revision.

TAIO CRUZ
AGAINST: see below
FOR: endearing admission in an interview that he invented a grammatically incorrect construction in an attempt to prove himself as being "down with the street"

CHRIS MOYLES
AGAINST: now surely I don't need to go into detail here, I've actually attempted to listen to his show, some radio reviewers of decent standing have actually been complimentary and whilst it's perceptible that there's a vestige of an articulate human being in there somewhere it's drowned in a sea of him bellowing over his co-presenters. Boorish.
FOR: CLIMBED A MOUNTAIN! FOR CHARITY! WITH CHERYL COLE! Actually give Cheryl another point there. Though it was in africa, so she probably wasn't too happy about it. And I don't know. I still have a sneaking suspicion that he's actually a decent guy. I have no evidence to support this, though.

JULIAN CASABLANCAS
AGAINST: Floppy-faced, cack-handed, self regarding wankbag whose new record makes alphabeat sound like Carcass. The living embodiment of everything hatable about hipsters.
FOR: Has a dog called Voltron

HRH THE DUKE OF EDINBURGH
AGAINST: gun-happy, xenophobic leech
FOR: best value for money of any royal, see recent rant about having to "make love" to TV remotes to get them to work. Also that crack to a scottish driving instructor about "keeping the natives off the booze" (apologies to scottish readers, nevertheless amusing)

so there, you see? Coastalblog. Balanced. Even handed.

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