So the government is worried about rising levels of obesity amongst the british populace. The tabloids carry stories of a girl as young as three dying due to her obesity. Britain gets ever lardier, waistlines going up in direct relation to the nation's hospital beds filling up with groaning, wobbly heart disease cases. Clearly Something Must Be Done. Clearly it is the fault of the evil pernicious food industry sneaking extra calories into their products, it's probably a terrorist plot or something. Failing that, it's the government's fault. Anyone's fault other than...
Yes, fatty, your fucking fault. You choose what you put in your mouth. Nobody else. Parents! If your child is fat it's YOUR FAULT. But this ready meal is so high in salt and saturated fats! you cry. Who bought it? Eh? But my child doesn't like food that's good for them! Bullshit. Growing up I simply had a smaller portion of what my parents ate. In this way I developed a palate which meant I actively disliked the junk food which apparently so enthralls our tots. And whilst we're on the subject, doesn't buying ready meals for the kids strike you as jaw-droppingly casual parenting given that it takes no more than ten minutes to knock up a healthy and nutritious meal?
If you're worried about what might be in the food you're buying there is a simple solution. Go to the fucking greengrocers. Go to the butchers. Go to the fishmongers. Cook the damn thing yourself you lazy bastards, it'll do you good, you only use the time saved by ready meals to watch Love on a Saturday Night anyway, you're doing yourselves a favour. Or you could, y'know, go for a walk.
So the BBC were doing a solemn report about the hidden dangers of food. They showed a man a 250g packet of crisps and said, do you know how much salt is in this? He studied the label intently for a while before admitting that he didn't. The interviewer, nodding sympathetically with the poor fellow's plight informed him that "Sodium" actually means "Salt". If this wasn't enough she then explained that because the values were per hundred grams he'd have to multiply it by two and a half to reach the correct salt amount. The man appeared angry at this revelation, as though the labelling on the packet were part of a cunning plot to poison him. I nearly cried.
Blame culture has gone too far. Initiatives to tell people to eat less, exercise more founder on the rocks of the public's unwillingness to do that. So fine. Let the fuckers get fat. I'll just look better by comparison.
Yes, fatty, your fucking fault. You choose what you put in your mouth. Nobody else. Parents! If your child is fat it's YOUR FAULT. But this ready meal is so high in salt and saturated fats! you cry. Who bought it? Eh? But my child doesn't like food that's good for them! Bullshit. Growing up I simply had a smaller portion of what my parents ate. In this way I developed a palate which meant I actively disliked the junk food which apparently so enthralls our tots. And whilst we're on the subject, doesn't buying ready meals for the kids strike you as jaw-droppingly casual parenting given that it takes no more than ten minutes to knock up a healthy and nutritious meal?
If you're worried about what might be in the food you're buying there is a simple solution. Go to the fucking greengrocers. Go to the butchers. Go to the fishmongers. Cook the damn thing yourself you lazy bastards, it'll do you good, you only use the time saved by ready meals to watch Love on a Saturday Night anyway, you're doing yourselves a favour. Or you could, y'know, go for a walk.
So the BBC were doing a solemn report about the hidden dangers of food. They showed a man a 250g packet of crisps and said, do you know how much salt is in this? He studied the label intently for a while before admitting that he didn't. The interviewer, nodding sympathetically with the poor fellow's plight informed him that "Sodium" actually means "Salt". If this wasn't enough she then explained that because the values were per hundred grams he'd have to multiply it by two and a half to reach the correct salt amount. The man appeared angry at this revelation, as though the labelling on the packet were part of a cunning plot to poison him. I nearly cried.
Blame culture has gone too far. Initiatives to tell people to eat less, exercise more founder on the rocks of the public's unwillingness to do that. So fine. Let the fuckers get fat. I'll just look better by comparison.
Comments
Post a Comment