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Now I'm as much of a fan of fresh fish as the next man, given that, geographically speaking, the next man is very often Jim. I'm significantly more of a fan of fresh fish than most others. And yet I find myself shunning the food I love. Turning my nose up at it, opting instead for piscatory-free dinners. Chowing down merrily on everything but.

And why should this be? FUCKING MORRISONS, THAT'S WHY. Oh those fresh fish counters may look enticing, with their banks of crushed ice and multivarious breeds piled high, but I have a strong suspicion that no-one there has a clue what they're doing. The fish, on close inspection, is almost always three or four days old. They're actually proud to sell Skate and Cod "Caught wild in the North East Atlantic", even going so far as to make Cod their "Catch of the Day". It was a combination of the nautical tweeness of the tagline, and the wilful genocidal fucking irresponsibility of this which led to this post.

And one more thing. I do not want my fish laid out right down to the edge of the display. The mackerel and herring laid out at the bottom will have been breathed coughed and god knows what elsed over all day, to be put away and have the same treatment the next day. I want to buy mackerel and herring, I really do. They're tasty, they're British (so no air-freight worries) and most importantly they're not on the verge of fucking extinction. The last time I bought a mackerel fillet from Morrisons, though (I'd have got a whole fish, but the gills were fucking grey it was that old) the damn thing was dry. DRY. How long has it been exposed to air if the oiliest fish on the whole damn earth if dry? What does this say about their stock rotation? What does this say about their whole attitude?

So that's it. My self-imposed Morrisons boycott (which had cracked in the face of it being the only decent sized shop in town) is back on. It's the market for me from here on out. Revolt, loyal readers! Enough mediocrity! To arms, citoyens! To the barricades! Or, at the very least, to Waitrose!


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