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I do like to be beside the seaside

It's Tory Party Conference time again, politics fans!

HIM AGAIN: good to see David Lee Cameron taking the massive contribution of short haul flights to climate change so seriously that he's put none other than notorious eighties hardman John Selwyn Gummer, Sellafield and diseased beef boy himself, on the case (who he? readers under twenty and americans cry. Google, my children. Then giggle). His squeaking of the facts was heartening to hear, and to be entirely fair he was largely correct. But undermined somewhat by the bellowing of a bellicose Tory at the debate on the subject woefully missing the point by claiming that as his journey to the conference was by plane (amusingly he shoehorned a reference to Ryanair in there too, never a Tory party conference without some pals product placement) it was shorter and therefore less polluting. Sigh. Lets go over this one more time shall we? STOP TRAVELLING BY PLANE OR WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE.

GREEN DAVE REDUX: poor Gummer was also fighting against DLC's insistence that plans for Heathrow's expansion wouldn't necessarily be polluting. Good to see the old policy of saying everything's going to be fine, then shrugging and saying "well, what can you do?" when it all turns into a massive clusterfuck on the assumption that the general population will reply "good point" and go back to watching Ant and Dec's oddly youthful faces (see also road expansion; Iraq; rail privatisation; water privatisation; systematic dismantling of industrial base etc etc).

YOU'RE KIDDING, RIGHT; even funnier than Cameron's stated aim to take the "Centre Ground" of politics (so why should we bother voting for you then? that's what we've got right now isn't it?), funnier even than Gummers witterings about a "Carbon tax" (a what now? and you're going to implement that how, exactly?), funnier even than Osborne's barefaced lie about no tax cuts (so no funding from your city buddies, so no election campaign funds. Sorry George, it isn't going to work) is the same man's intention that the burden of tax will be shifted "away from businesses and famuilies, and on to polluters." Interestingly vague this, and I await his speech agog at how he's going to square the shifting of the tax burden off the (mass-consuming, gas-guzzling) families and (mass-consuming, you get the drift) business and off on to these shadowy "Polluters" whomsoever they may be. Because it certainly isn't you and me. No no no. we have votes, so therefore can do no wrong, I wonder if the polluters are related to Bush's "evildoers?" If not they certainly hang out in the same pubs.

THE CONDENSED POST: the Tories are lying shitbags. The Tories have always been lying shitbags. The Tories always will be lying shitbags.

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