Skip to main content

Rampant children will kill us all

Apparently. Knickers being got massively in a twist all over the shop today by the news that Britain's teens and kids are "The worst in Europe." I'm sure you've seen the story so I shan't bother to link it, my laziness is of course due to a breakdown in society and my poor upbringing.

Nothing like a good moral panic to bring the idiots out of the woodwork, my favorite concomitant story has to be Asbos are a badge of honour. The amusing impication being that since asbos appeared on thehorizon things have somehow got worse. I can't help but note that there's no testimony from those kids who, having been asbo'd are having their freedom somewhat curtailed "it's a badge of honour, but a pain in the arse" style of thing (incidentally, check the video link in the corner "British youths caught misbehaving" Oh no! Youths! And they're misbehaving! I'm reminded of the old Bill Hicks skit about the word hooligan not sounding particularly threatening).

So are kids get drunk and fuck more than any of the others in Europe. Of course they do. They're idiots. Their parents are also idiots. The sooner the country as a whole realises that we're mostly a bunch of fat, venal racists, more interested in lovely shiny posessions than anything else then the sooner we can do something about it. Like killing ourselves. Which, in a long haul kind of a way, is exactly what is happening here. Social Darwinism in action again.

The point being lost amidst all this hand-wringing is that if these lot actively want to turn themselves into a bunch of losers, that means all the more opportunity for those of us who aren't. So drink yourselves silly you witless little bastards, at least I know I'll never be competing with any of you for a job.

(N.B. I don't for one second actually believe that teenagers are any worse or better than they ever have been. And I've not had my pocket picked by a Victorian urchin recently, either. It must be a slow news week)

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

To all intents and purposes, a bloody great weed.

I absolutely love trees, and I get quite irate when they get cut down. One of the aspects of life with which I most often find myself most at odds with my fellow man is that I'm not really a fan of the tidy garden. I like to see a bit of biodiversity knocking about the gaff, and to that end I welcome the somewhat overgrown hedge, am pro the bit of lawn left to run riot, and, most of all, very anti cutting down trees. I love the things, habitat, provider of shade, easy on the eye, home to the songbirds that delight the ear at dawn, the best alarm clock of all. To me, cutting a naturally growing tree down is an act of errant vandalism, as well as monumental entitlement, it's been around longer than you. So, this being the case, let me say this. The public outcry over the felling of the tree at Sycamore Gap is sentimental, overblown nonsense, and the fact that the two men found guilty of it have been given a custodial sentence is completely insane. Prison? For cutting down a Sycam...
Post a Comment
Read more

Oh! Are you on the jabs?

I have never been a slender man. No one has ever looked at me and thought "oh, he needs feeding up". It's a good job for me that I was already in a relationship by the early noughties as I was never going to carry off the wasted rock star in skinny jeans look. No one has ever mistaken me for Noel Fielding. This is not to say that I'm entirely a corpulent mess. I have, at various times in my life, been in pretty good shape, but it takes a lot of hard work, and a lot of vigilance, particularly in my line of work, where temptation is never far away. Also, I reason, I have only one life to live, so have the cheese, ffs. I have often wondered what it would be like to be effortlessly in good nick, to not have to stop and think how much I really want that pie (quite a lot, obviously, pie is great), but I've long since come to terms with the fact that my default form is "lived-in". I do try to keep things under control, but I also put weight on at the mere menti...
Post a Comment
Read more

Inedible

"He says it's inedible" said my front of house manager, as she laid the half-eaten fish and chips in front of me, and instantly I relaxed.  Clearly, I observed, it was edible to some degree. I comped it, because I can't be arsed arguing the toss, and I want to make my front of house's lives as simple as possible. The haddock had been delivered that morning. The fryers had been cleaned that morning. The batter had been made that morning (and it's very good batter, ask me nicely and I'll give you the recipe some time). The fish and chips was identical to the other 27 portions I'd sent out on that lunch service, all of which had come back more or less hoovered up, we have have a (justified, if I do say so myself) very good reputation for our chips. But it was, apparently, "inedible". When it comes to complaints, less is more. If you use a hyperbolic word like that, I'll switch off, you've marked yourself as a rube, a chump, I'm not g...
Post a Comment
Read more