Skip to main content

Kingmaker? What the fuck?

Now, I am the first to admit that I am possibly not the snappiest dresser. I'm fond of a good suit, and partial to a well-tailored shirt. But most of the time you'll find me in jeans and a scabby indie band tour t-shirt circa the early nineties. Frankly it's a miracle that any woman's looked at me twice. The fact that one saw fit to marry me is right up there with loaves and fishes (Breaded haddock, incidentally. Has to be).

In amongst my selection of scabby indie band tour t-shirts of the early nineties is a Kingmaker t-shirt. The Eat Yourself Whole tour, to be precise. Not that it matters because not a huge amount of people gave a monkeys at the time, which was fourteen years ago. So it follows tghat even fewer people would give said monkeys now.

Apart from those Shadowy figures behind the new Will Ferrell vehicle something or other. I've no idea what the film's called, I'm aware that the plot is some Kaufman-lite MacGuffin about an author writing somebody elses life. So far, so basic (But, crucially, not to somebody on coke, for whom it BLOWS THEIR MIND = entertainment industry. Enjoy). What I do know is that the trailer features a song by Kingmaker called Ten Years Asleep, which I bought on cassingle (younger readers - look it up) many maany maaaany years ago in a record shop in Cornwall.

Maybe I'm not making it clear.

KINGMAKER are on the soundtrack to a NEW HOLLYWOOD MOVIE. This is approximately as likely as the SONG YOU RECORDED WHEN YOU WERE FIFTEEN ABOUT THAT GIRL YOU LIKE WHO WORKS IN STARBUCKS, YOU KNOW, THE ONE THAT RHYMES "ALONE" WITH "MOCHACINNO" appearing on the soundtrack of a NEW HOLLYWOOD MOVIE,possibly starring BILLY BOB THORNTON, or maybe KIRSTEN DUNST as a girl who LOOKS ALL INNOCENT BUT IS PROBABLY QUITE DIRTY and she's FISTING HERSELF to your PISS-POOR PIECE OF SIXTH FORM SHIT. This is ODD.

I mean seriously. Kingmaker? Is the Ride rock opera (probably entitled Making Judy Smile) next? I've said it before and I'll say it again. These are the End Times.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

A whole new world.

I appear to have moved into the pub. Now, I don't wish to give the impression that this has come as a complete surprise to me, we'be been planning to do so since shortly after I bought it, but still, it's sort of snuck up on me and now I'm waking up and thinking what happened? How come I'm here? The reason for this discombobulation is that this move was initially a temporary measure. Mrs Coastalblog had some relatives coming to stay, and it made sense to put them up in our house while we decamped to the flat. It's still a work in progress, but a mad week of cleaning and carting stuff around made it habitable. I had a suspicion that once we were in we'd be back and forth for a few weeks. As with many of my hunches, I was completely and utterly wrong. As it turned out, once we were here, we were here. Things moved at pace and, now our kitchen appliances have been installed, there's no going back, the old house is unusable. It's left me with slightly mi
Post a Comment
Read more

Mad Dogs and Immigration Ministers

It is with no small degree of distress that I'm afraid to say I've been thinking about Robert Jenrick. I know, I know, in this beautiful world with its myriad of wonders, thetre are many other things about which I could think, the play of sunlight upon dappled water, the laughter of my children, the song thrush calling from the sycamore tree a few yards away from where I type this. Yet the shiny, faintly porcine features of the Minister for Immigration keep bubbling up into my consciousness. It's a pain in the arse, I tell you. A few years ago on here I wrote a piece entitled The cruelty is the point in which I argued that some policies are cruelty simply for the sake of it, pour decourager les autres . I was reminded of that recently when I listened to Jenrick defending his unpleasant, petty decision to order murals at a migrant children's centre to be painted over. You've probably heard the story already; deeming pictures of cartoon characters "too welcoming&
Post a Comment
Read more

20

Huh. It turns out that this blog is, as of, well, roughly about now-ish, 20 years old. 20. I've been doing this (very intermittently) for twenty bloody years. And, I cannot help but note, still am, for some reason. I've done posts in the past, when this whole thing was comparatively blemish free and dewy-skinned looking back on its history and how it's changed down the years, there's not really a lot of point in doing that again. It's reflected what concerns me at the time, is, I think, the most charitable way of phrasing it (a  polite way of saying that it's been self-absorbed and solipsistic, but then, it's a blog, this should not come as a shock), it's interesting for me to look back over the lists of posts, but not so much for you, I imagine. Likewise, pondering how I've changed in the intervening years is also fairly pointless. It's painfully obvious that I was a very different person at 25 to 45, my experience of jobs and kids and marriage
Post a Comment
Read more