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Thank heavens for Philippa

There'sa scene in John Steinbeck's Cannery Row which leapt immediately to mind this morning. Mack and the boys inadvertently trash Doc's house when attempting to throw him a party, and nothing goes right for anyone in town for a long while. A ship is destroyed, a beloved dog falls ill, a man loses his legs:

"There is no explaining a series of misfortunes like that. Every man blames himself. People in their black minds remember sins committed recently and wonder whether they caused the evil sequence."

Well, I hear that. Work has been hell. The tension between myself and the incumbent manager (who knows I'm just waiting now) is reaching interesting levels. We've had one of the hardest shifts I can recall (the full anedotes from which will have to wait for a future post about the idiocy of scouse gangsters - uh-huh) and it's just...There is also an ongoing familial situation (which, as I said before, I'm really not going into here, but it's preying on my mind a little) and then I got back on Saturday to discover that the awful truth had been confirmed. Liz Daplyn died on the thursday before last. Murdered for a warped principle. Pathetic, empty and pointless. I was unprepared for the emotional sucker punch of the confirmation, couldn't sleep all night and needed several hugs from the incomparable Mrs Coastaltown (who really does deserve some sort of a medal for putting up with me at the moment).

And so back to Steinbeck:

"At last a crack had developed in the wall of evil. There were evidences of it everywhere....the wall of evil and waiting was broken. It broke off in chunks"

A while back one of my favourite people upped sticks and buggered off to the states. I promised to email, she promised to mail back. In the way of these things I didn't get round to it for far too long, and surmised that she was probably too busy. This morning the reply popped into my inbox and I read it with delight. Reading it I could hear her talking and my mood lifted the longer I read on for. Thank heavens for Philippa.

This afternoon I see my brother for the first time in two years. Wednesday is the start of my days off. I've just been asked to contribute some poems to a magazine. Thursday the Ashes start.

The wall of evil is breaking off in chunks, and I'm determined to do everything in my power to destroy it utterly. Have a fantastic day, all of you.

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