Skip to main content

Ormskirk, ormskirk, it's a hell of a town

Seems as good a time as any to stick a post up here, given that Ormskirk will have won the Twenty20 world championships for England by the end of this summer?

How, you ask? Why, by rehabilitating none other than legspinning hope Chris Schofield. Good to see that after a fruitful summer on the verdant pastures of Brook Lane he's ready to take the world by storm.

In further Ormskirk news, I note that the super soaraway Champion's restaurant reviewer, the redoubtable Mr X, has yet further covered himself in glory. Regular readers (or those of you who've heard me ranting about this in the pub) may recall that this is the restaurant reviewer who likes EVERYTHING, lacking as he does any semblance of a critical faculty, or, for that matter, a palate (you may also recall his liking of steak well done, and professed dislike of garlic, ffs) both of which are, one imagines, pre-requisites for a half decent stab at the restaurant reviewing game. Unabashed he has continued to astonish us with his insights, and in the week just gone it was my pleasure to read his analysis of some identikit faux-mediterranean shit-tip. The starter, we were informed was "like cheese on toast, but without the toast". The money shot was provided by his giddy trying of lamb, explaining as he does, breathlessly, that he normally "plays safe with chicken". You adventurer you. Chicken, the Aston Villa of the restaurant menu. I look forward to our hero maybe risking some dressing on his Iceberg lettuce at some point in the near future.

The champion itself scaled further heights on the VERY NEXT PAGE, when a picture was captioned with the informative "Caption goes here". Why yes, yes it does. Bravo.

Wider world news. Can it possibly be true that a leaver's do at renowned local hangout for boater-wearing, fee-paying weirdoes Merch4nt Tayl0r's school was disrupted by the kids themselves getting pissed and trashing their hotel? Surely not. We'd have heard about it in the paper, surely. What's that you say, the editor of the Echo is on the school's board of governors? Pshaw, a coincidence.

Fort update: well, a new season is upon us, so Coastalblog's eye gazes wistfully north, to the foot of Ben Nevis and Claggan Park, home of mighty mighty Fort William FC. And the exciting news is that the Fort have kicked off this new season with a plucky 3-1 defeat at the hands of Nairn County (last season's seventh placed giants). I know! One game in and one goal in the "For" column already! I don't know about you, but I suspect it'll be a hell of a season.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

What is happening?

An unpleasant, but in the grand scheme of things quite minor, incident occurred at a local school yesterday. Two lads entered the premises looking for another kid they wanted to assault. The school followed protocols and was locked down until the situation was resolved. Grim enough in and of itself, but not exactly a massive piece of news. Except, of course, on local Facebook pages, where a cast of many hang around visibly thirsting for events like this. This isn't a post about them, however. There is something desperately sad about a million posts on the same subject, everyone breathlessly recycling the same story without checking whether it might have already been covered. It speaks to an unfulfilled existence. Nor is this a post about Facebook and it's local pages, though they are a weird and interesting ecosystem. Were it not for running the pub, my Meta presence would be minimal, I need to be on there for work, and stuff like this is a necessary accoutrement. No, what depr...
Post a Comment
Read more

Inedible

"He says it's inedible" said my front of house manager, as she laid the half-eaten fish and chips in front of me, and instantly I relaxed.  Clearly, I observed, it was edible to some degree. I comped it, because I can't be arsed arguing the toss, and I want to make my front of house's lives as simple as possible. The haddock had been delivered that morning. The fryers had been cleaned that morning. The batter had been made that morning (and it's very good batter, ask me nicely and I'll give you the recipe some time). The fish and chips was identical to the other 27 portions I'd sent out on that lunch service, all of which had come back more or less hoovered up, we have have a (justified, if I do say so myself) very good reputation for our chips. But it was, apparently, "inedible". When it comes to complaints, less is more. If you use a hyperbolic word like that, I'll switch off, you've marked yourself as a rube, a chump, I'm not g...
Post a Comment
Read more

Worthless Art

Ah, we're back to calling humanities degrees rip-offs, are we? What a semi regular treat that is. There is a persistent strain of thought in British public life which runs thus: things are shit, blame clever people. When a politician needs a convenient punchbag, higher education is always a quick and easy mark. Everyone hates students, right? And those lecturers, bit up themselves, aren't they? And so Kemi Badenoch, bereft of ideas, takes up the cudgels once more, because why not? It's not like she's got anything else sensible to say. Might as well try and score a few populist points. Cuh, English degrees eh? What use are they?  Yes, this week, the erstwhile leader of His Majesty's Opposition decided to wander down a tired and well-trodden path and try to score a few points off the back of the much maligned Arts and Humanities. She's not the first, I highly doubt she'll be the last. She set out plans to a somewhat sparsely attended Conservative Party Confere...
1 comment
Read more