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Not great!

That's all it said, and I spent a while frowning at the screen.

What wasn't great?

Part and parcel of working in hospitality is you get complaints. It's very much the law of averages, you serve enough people, sooner or later someone's going to be unhappy about something. You can mitigate this as much as possible, be on your game at all times, have robust checking procedures and do your best to rectify errors, this will help, but sooner or later you'll get a complaint  That's just people .

Some of these complaints are legitimate, mistakes can be made, you apologise, you offer to compensate in some form, some people are fine, some can never be mollified. Again, that's just people.

Most of them are as a result of a perception gap between you and the customer. As a pub, one of our most regular types of complainer is the Person That's Come To The Wrong Pub And Is A Bit Out Of Their Depth And This Is Somehow Your Fault, a prime example of this being a five top last week who asked how long we'd "been this posh" (we are not, there are workies at the bar, there is a burger on the menu) and then kicked off when they asked which lagers we do because "I've never heard of any of them" (imagine, if you are in a position of ignorance, thinking this was someone elses fault). In the interests of fairness, we do sometimes get thus perception gap from the other end, people who've read reviews, seen some of (admittedly, a bit cheffier) things we do and come expecting Moor Hall. Again, no, pub. Don't mind if front of house wear comfortable clothes, dogs are welcome, yes it can get a bit loud. 

You can have entertaining perception gaps about the same thing, I have received complaints about the pub being too hot and too cold on the same day, for example. Too loud/too quiet. Fish too crispy/not crispy enough. 

Some of the complaints are just idiotic, and I'm getting better at learning to ignore them, it's a journey.

This one, though, was cryptic. Just those two words, and that slightly irritating exclamation mark.

Another part of the job, sadly, is social media. Every other bugger has an Instagram, so it is incumbent upon you to do so too (I draw the line at TikTok), and when my FOH manager asked if I'd make her some lunch, it turned out quite pretty, so I stuck it up with something or other about making sure the staff are properly fed. Cue various pleasant comments, ohh looks lovely, ooh lucky staff etc, so far so very much the usual.

Then, from someone without even a profile pic, a mysterious Pam Dodd, who simply said "Not great!". This perplexed me somewhat, because unless Aimie's changed her name, I was pretty sure no-one called Pam Dodd had ever eaten this dish, as I kind of made it up as I went along. What wasn't great?

Reader, naturally, I asked her, I have, as yet, no reply, so I am left with this ineffable mystery, what's not great?

This is like toothache to me, I am a fairly conscientious sort of a bloke, this is my livelihood, and I genuinely do want everyone to leave having had a nice time. So what was "Not great!"?

Was Pam merely critiquing my photography skills ( she may have hade a point were this the case)? Did she object to the plating? (Fair do's, it was staff lunch, but the salad looked quite pretty)?

Was she making a wider comment about the pub in general? Me in particular? The food? Does she have a deep and abiding dislike of Lancashire Cheese Tart? Does she loathe green plates? Has she been here, hated it, and chose the medium of a facebook comment underneath a picture of someone else's tea to express her displeasure? Is she one of those types that get annoyed when people have breaks?

I fear I shall never know, but Pam, if you're reading this, I'm so sorry, whatever it was that wasn't great, my sincerest apologies.

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