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Fuck me, it's a Triffid

In his usual inimitable manner in the comments below Jimmy makes an excellent point, I am failing in duty as a chronicler of all things Ormskirk if I don't mention the planned "next phase in the Aughton Street Regeneration" (how I love it when town councils attempt to sound like somthing they're doing is, you know, important. I imagine the meetings being interrupted by cries for "the implementation of the primary stage of tea generation" whenever they want to put the kettle on).

Now, I want you all to do something for me (apart from Jim and Robin, who already know the answer). Close your eyes and imagine your town centre. There's probably some tasteful block paving perhaps? A bit of public art? Maybe a clock tower? Now think long and hard about what it's missing, what would really complete the picture? Some civic flowerbeds perhaps? Maybe a replica of the world famous Mannekin Pis?

Wrong. Wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong. What your town centre really needs is (in the words of the super soaraway Midweek Advertiser:

"A pair of 8m tall poles with green glowing "seeds" on the end"

That's what you need, £44,011 (I love that £11 exactitude) worth of bronze, that's right, BRONZE craziness. The seeds apparently signify change. And they glow. Awesome.

But not as awesome as the precise wording of the article:

"Council chief executive Bill Taylor also comended the council on successfully getting the £40,000 for the seed pods out of the NW development Agency. He said: "we punch well above our weight in gaining funding...We're almost pushing against an open door"

Oh yes, not applying for grant aid, not utilising government resources, "getting the money out of." What did he do, shout "Look over there" and steal their piggy bank whilst their back was turned? That's some quality journalism right there. Still, it's reassuring to know that Bill Taylor's on the ball. The hospital may be going to Southport, and come the first big freeze you can bet your bottom dollar it'll take three days to get the gritters out, but at least we can stand and look at our glowing 8 metre seed pods and think "Y'know, Ormskirk punches well above it's weight in gaining funding. Our corporate reputation stands us in good stead", it'll give us all a warm inner glow.

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